Name: Magically Malicious
Number: 515
Travel Team: All-Stars & Marble City Mayhem
Home Team: Lolitas
Years skating: 7
April’s featured skater wears a lot of hats behind the scenes, but she’s equally hard to ignore on the track! Get to know the feisty blocker who always has a smile on her face: Magically Malicious!
You were nominated by Slamwise Gamgee, who wants to know: How is it different being on the team now, post-COVID, as it was pre-COVID? What are some pros and cons?
It’s weird because I went from being one of the newer skaters to one of the older skaters overnight. Some of the pros are: we have a really good team right now that are very positive and willing to put forth effort to get better. Some of the cons are: I miss my old friends too! They were cool, they could come back—just for all those reading, y’all can come back!
Yes, I agree, some of them need to come back! We need some friends! So how did you first get involved with roller derby?
There was a punk rock flea market by Purple Heart Tattoo, long time ago when they used to do them versus who does them now. I was new to Knoxville and I had just gone to check things out, and Stabby and Kitty were running a table and they were like, “Do you need friends?” and I was like, “Yes…” “Do you need exercise?” “Yes!” and they were like, “We have both!” And so I just showed up and kind of stuck.
Had you ever roller skated before?
Maybe every once in a while as the kid holding the wall at a birthday party. They taught me skating from scratch.
What was an early victory that you had as far as skating?
Man, everything was a victory! Any small thing I learned how to do, I was excited about, because I couldn’t do it before. One of the hardest things to learn was backwards skating, and I’m still not very good at that. Still not great at plowstopping, so kind of think, I don’t know how I stopped at ten feet [for the test], pretty sure I didn’t.
They were like, “Yes, you’re good, you got it.”
Someone did, I don’t know!
What is the story behind your skater name and number?
515 is my anniversary because if I didn’t have that as a number, I wouldn’t remember it, because I’m really bad with dates, and I forget every year when May comes around, I’m like, “Oh yeah, that is 5.”
My name, my boyfriend came up with. It was one of his friend’s group names on WOW [World of Warcraft], so he’s like, “What about this?” And I was like, “Sure!”
And I was intending on being called “M” because that’s what I’m called in life, but it didn’t happen that way, so…
Most people call you “Mag.”
Pretty much, yeah.
I call you M.
You do, Lorri does—sometimes…no, just you and Lorri.
If Magically Malicious had a theme song, what would it be?
My favorite song growing up for the longest time was “Having a Blast” by Green Day, but I don’t know if that’s really appropriate any longer because I tend to be a little bit less destructive in life than I was at sixteen. Let’s see…I don’t know…[laughs] You know the song from Finding Nemo, “Just Keep Swimming”? That Dory sings? Probably that one. That’s about where I am in life.
Well I feel like that really is you on the track because—and I already had this [as a question]—you always give off a positive and present mindset out on the track. So does that come naturally to you, or did you have to cultivate that?
I think I tend to be a pretty positive person, but I also bounce between major negativity. So I’m negative inside, but positive outside. If you pretend to be—if you find the good stuff, the bad stuff’s not as bad, so just always be positive.
What is your favorite position to play?
I much prefer blocking, just playing blocking, over anything else. I tend to like to block either on the outside or the middle because I feel very wiggly in the middle. I feel useful there, but I also feel useful on the outside. Not really into jamming, but I’m trying because it’s harder.
What makes you want to try jamming?
I feel like I need more exercise, and it’s murder.
It’s very exhausting!
Yes, and you get your heart rate up and then down and up and down so you’re burning more calories, and sometimes you remember to breathe.
On occasion!
Which is good for you! But I don’t know, I just don’t want to be stuck in the back of the pack, so being a jammer, having jammer skills can help you not be goated [caught by the opponent]. I don’t know, might as well try!
Which of the four elements, what kind of jammer are you?
So I think probably Earth, more than I need to be. The last few practices after we redid the elemental jammer practice, I’m like, “I am going to be Water!” and every time I approach the pack I am like, “I am going to be Water!” and I talk through it, and I’m like, “Now I’m gonna go over here! Now I’m gonna go over there! Where will I be? You’ll never know!” And then I give up and just hit the center and run, so…I am erosion.
I mean, and wearing down the pack, it is exhausting to deal with a jammer like that.
It’s more exhausting to be that jammer.
Very true.
I will one day jump something, maybe ten years from now, but not now.
What have been some of your favorite derby moments?
I did catch a jammer at that last game against the Swarm. I don’t know who the jammer was, they got out, I managed to get in front of them (without a forearm somehow, small miracle). And then it was so great because I heard behind me, Sin, she’s just like, “Hold her, Mag! We’ll be there in a second!” Just nice and calm. I’m like, thanks! I did something!
Yeah because they reformed in front of her, and you were the one who held her to make it so that she had to fight through all of y’all again.
It was great! Demoralizing! And I don’t know, I’ve been getting pretty good at whips. That’s going to be a thing, I think, this year.
What other goals do you have for yourself this year?
Fourth year in a row: I’m gonna learn how to hockey stop. Been learning it now for five years, this year’s gonna be the year I actually figure it out.
I mean, I feel like I’ve seen a lot of growth with you on that.
They’re getting better. They’re not as scary any more, I just gotta add speed.
Speed always makes things scary.
It does! It makes stopping easier, but scarier.
What is something on your bucket list?
Probably like two or three gallons, nothing too big. [grins] I’d like to go to all the national parks—well, not all of them, but a lot of them. So that’s something my boyfriend and I have done, is a lot of national park tours.
I want to finish every trail in the Smokies. So the 900 (which isn’t actually 900, but it’s close) I’m over halfway, I’ll get there soon. I’d like to do it by 45.
Do you have any derby heroes?
Just people on the team that I would like to be more like, but not like outside of Hard Knox. I mean, a lot of people I watch, and I’m like, “Ooh, I want to do that one thing,” but not to say, I’m not fangirling, not the way I should be.
What advice would you have for people who want to play roller derby?
I mean, you can do it! There’s no one who can’t, so if you are willing to put forth effort and not quit, even when your knees hurt, even when your ankles hurt, even when your legs hurt, when you have no toenails left, you can do it. But you have to be willing to put in the effort. It’s not going to come naturally. It is not easy. No one is born with skates on their feet. Everyone feels confused and lost for approximately three years. But you can do it.
How do you find a balance between roller derby and real life?
Mostly just by practicing standing on one leg [laughs] I can’t say there necessarily is one. It’s my hobby, so it’s the thing I do when I’m not working. It’s scheduled out, it’s easy, like if you don’t want to do something, you just don’t do it. Telling people “No,” that’s my thing this year, Imma say, “No.”
Giving yourself boundaries.
Mhmm!
What is something you wish more people understood about roller derby?
It exists! The rules, the rules were so confusing. But mostly just that it is not what you watched in the 70s and 80s, but it is cool and it is here.
What is your favorite thing about being a Lolita?
Oh, everything about Lolitas is the best! There’s nothing that sucks about being a Lolita. And once you’re a Lolita, you’re a Lolita for Life. And we win everything, and we are the best, and they’re wild and crazy but cool and thank god we have Gnarly, because otherwise we’d fall off the rails.
Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what would you like to ask them?
Sin. How excited is she for this year as co-captain of the charter, because she is rocking it and she is so awesome? And how does she stay calm on the track when it is hectic, because she is calmness personified somehow for the entire game, no matter what.
Thank you for a super fun conversation! I wish everyone could hear how much you made me laugh throughout this entire interview, but anyone who spends a few minutes with you knows that you light up any room. So readers, your assignment for this month is to be like Magically Malicious: have a positive attitude and “Just keep swimming!”
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