Name: Tough Muffin
Number: 350º
Travel Team: Brawlers
Home Team: Bombshell Bettys
Years skating: 2
She is small and mighty out on the track. Get to know June’s skater of the month: Tough Muffin!
You were nominated by Override, who wants to know: what do you want to be when you grow up?
That’s a good question from Override. Career-wise, I don’t know, but I know that I want to be a mom, and happy!
What brought you to roller derby?
I went to my first bout in 2022. It was the Halloween one, and I went because I knew Cat [#505] from the dog park (our dogs are actually best friends), and she said it would be a good time. Then fresh meat was right after, and I just decided to go for it.
Did you have any idea what roller derby was before you went?
I had seen Whip It, but otherwise, I didn’t know before I saw it in person. And I knew how to roller skate because I taught myself during COVID. You might not think that I knew how to skate, my first day of fresh meat, but I did!
Did you have any other COVID related things that you learned how to do, or ways that you kept yourself busy?
No, I pretty much just ate TikTok pasta and binged TV shows.
And that works too! So how would you describe your rookie year (fresh meat, first season, anything)?
Fresh meat went by really fast. It’s pretty much a blur, but I loved my first year of roller derby and the friendships that I’ve made, and I was sort of falling in love at the same time. Not to be cheesy, but it’s kind of hard to unlink the two, since I am dating one of my teammates.
We are always pro-cheese here! Well, how did you decide on your skater name and number?
My camp name was Muffin, for no particular reason, but that’s what I went by, so I knew I would respond to it. And then it was just about making it a two name deal.
Another idea I had was MG Hammer, but I don’t really like MC Hammer enough for that, but it used my initials.
My number used to be 273, which was my childhood home address, just an homage to my family, but I changed it this year to 350°, which is its own funny pun.
What is your favorite position to play?
Jammer. I like to go fast, and I guess I like being the center of attention.
Jammers do get the best photographs!
Yeah, although I’m always making the worst faces in those photos.
You had an excellent face in this last bout, when you were passing the panty that one time.
Oh yeah, I saw that. I think Kanary sent it to me and made a joke about it.
How would you describe your jamming style?
In progress. A lot of bending, and not a lot of successful pushing. I think I mix it up. Still definitely learning, but sometimes I get points!
Do you have a signature move as a jammer?
I wouldn’t say so, but I have been doing a lot of bean dipping, or doing the bean dip. And my favorite type of O [offense] is a shirt grab.
It’s always fun to watch you get really low with that [bean dip], and then just get around people.
Thanks!
If Tough Muffin had a theme song that we all hear whenever you do something awesome on the track, what would it be?
Ooh, that’s a fun one! I don’t know what speaks to me or my jamming, but something fun from the 80s, like “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” or “Karma Chameleon.”
On bout day, do you have any pre-game rituals?
My first year, I had to put my muffin on my face immediately before we went to the venue. But this year, I pretty much just try to relax so I don’t get anxious, and I walk my dog. Nothing exciting.
What are some of your favorite achievements on the track?
I guess MVP Jammer. I got that twice last year: once for our 15 minute game (as you recall, when we got rained out), but the other game was a full game, and I felt better about that one. I got Rookie of the Year, but that was at the end of the year party, so not really on the track. One time I hit somebody and everybody was like, “Woah!” That was fun. But just the once, I think.
Do you have any derby heroes?
Derby heroes…I don’t know enough about historical derby players, but within our own league—I love watching Kitty jam, and I admire my wife, Psych Wazowski, because she made All Star this year.
There was a jammer on the Nashville team, Brannan. She played at Honky Tonk Stomp, she was amazing to watch. A total water element. She just went through every pack like a butter knife goes through butter.
Have you set any goals for yourself for this season? And if so, how are they going?
Yes: my goal is to get MVP Jammer again this year, at least once, and I would like to have a penalty-free bout. And now that we’re getting prizes for passing the panty, definitely want a prize.
Yes, I forget how many times did you pass it that first bout? I think you had three?
Yeah, I think two or three.
Let me see…[searching through my notes] yeah it was three that you had. Well speaking of penalties, what is your most common penalty, and what does that say about you as a skater?
Definitely cutting the track! And it’s because I continuously get hit out of bounds, and they run me back. This last game, I was a little reckless because I was getting frustrated, and I should have been more careful reentering behind everyone than I was, and that’s why I got a cut track, so I really only have myself to blame. I thought I could get away with it.
What is something on your bucket list?
I want to snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef.
What is people’s reaction to learning that you play roller derby?
If it’s a man, honestly, they’re usually rude. He’ll be like, “Really? You play roller derby?”
Everyone says, “Wow!” And if they want to know more, they’ll ask; otherwise, they’ll pretty quickly drop it. And I really don’t go on and on about it, unless I think somebody’s interested. But I could probably talk about roller derby all day.
What are some other things that you could talk about all day? Like how do you tend to spend your free time?
I hang out with my dog, and my girlfriend, and our friends. I love my family. I watch a lot of TV and movies, and I’ve always loved talking about those and pop culture. I’ve been doing logic puzzles to keep my mind sharp, but that’s not really worth talking about, that’s just something I do by myself.
If you could describe your derby experience in 3-5 words, or maybe a short sentence, what would you say?
How about: that escalated quickly.
Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?
Mobile Crisis. How confident are you on the track versus off the track?
Thank you for a fun conversation, Muffin! Readers, you have two chances to catch Hard Knox at home this month: June 1 and 22. Don’t miss out on this amazing skating! And until next time, be like Tough Muffin, and just go for something new.
-smalls-