October Featured Skater: Killer Kanary

Name: Killer Kanary

Number: 240

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Lolitas

Years skating: 2

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Don’t let her short stature fool you—she causes big problems for any opponent that goes up against the Brawlers! Get to know October’s skater of the month: Killer Kanary!

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You were nominated by Bumble Beast, who wants to know why you joined derby, and is that the reason that you’re still in it?

I joined derby in the first place because I moved back to Knoxville after going to school in middle Tennessee, and I was like, I miss doing sports, I miss the environment I had when I did volleyball, band, that kind of stuff. I needed a way to exercise, I needed a way to make friends in Knoxville again, and so I joined, and my reasoning was: I can take a hit, so I think that this is something that I can do. I went to Skatetown a week before fresh meat and was like, let’s see if I can skate a lap. If I can skate a lap and not bust my ass, we’ll do it. And so I was able to do that, so I signed up, and I joined, and now I’m here!

I think that’s probably still the same reason I’m in it. I obviously like the competitiveness of it now and doing all of those types of things, but really, I do like finding you have this good group of people that, you know, if you need anything, you can go to them. But then also it does get me out of the house. It forces me to exercise (because I can’t force myself) and it’s a fun way to exercise rather than doing cardio that I hate. I still hate cardio at practice, but at least it’s on skates rather than running.

Well that’s really cool that you had done athletic things before! How does [roller derby] compare to things you had done in the past?

I wouldn’t say it’s not similar, it’s pretty similar. I mean, it’s a team sport, so I think a lot of the same things kind of apply. Like obviously I really only did sports when I was in school, but it has the same team aspects of it that you would expect. You find a good group of people—again, I think that's why people do sports in school as well, just so they have someone that they go to, that kind of thing. So I really think you develop the same types of relationships. I think we saw on the Brawlers this year—you kind of build, I can't think of the word right now, but like camaraderie almost? Like you can work really well together. And I think I really noticed that this season, and that's stuff I've noticed in the past. Even doing band, I think you have that, you know, you play really well together and you knew what one person would do and this other person would do. I think that's probably the most similar aspect of it.

What's your favorite position to play, and what do you love about it?

I really like blocking. I mean, we only have so many positions. But I think I've really gotten better at that this season. Just being able to, you know, hold someone is a very fun feeling. Whether that be with someone or on your own, like we worked on one-on-one blocking so much, and I think it just came a long way. I think I'd like to pivot in the future, but honestly I need to build some endurance before I can do such a thing! [laughs]

Which is not easy to do!

No, not at all. That’s probably my least favorite part, but it’s an important part.

How would you describe your derby playing style?

I don't even know! I think I'm a lot more vocal out there than I would say I am at practice? It's like we get out there, and I'm just talking I feel like the entire time, which is helpful for myself at least. So I think I'm just really vocal. Yeah, I think that's probably how I would describe it. I don't think I'm too aggressive yet. I think Bush wants me to be more aggressive.

Do you want to be more aggressive?

Yes? I think I get scared I'm gonna hit someone the wrong way, or do something wrong and end up hurting someone. And then sometimes I forget that I can just hit someone, and sometimes I feel like, you know, it comes off as you're kind of being a jerk. I think it'd be good if I was more aggressive because I feel like I do play a lot of offense, that kind of thing, but we'll see what next year brings.

What's your favorite kind of offense to do?

So what has happened is that I get the jammer and they grab onto me, and then I'm like a little cannonball. I can't say a big cannonball, but I still go through, I feel like. So I think that's fun. I really liked the person we had the clinic with last year (I can't remember her name right now, I'm blanking) but whoever we did the clinic with last year, and she would take out the brace and the two people, like both people on the line. I like doing two-in-one rather than just one. Not saying I do that all the time, but it is fun when you can.

What are some of your favorite achievements on the track?

There was one girl we played against, I can't remember what team she was on, I think it was not this last bout but the bout before. I think she was probably like six foot something; she was very tall, very sturdy, and I think I moved her once or twice. So that's a pretty good one. I jammed this year, got some points. I knocked some people down, I think, you know. The first bout of the season I got MVP Blocker, so that's always fun as well.

Did you have any goals for yourself for this season?

I don't know if I'm necessarily like a goal-oriented person, which sounds very strange. So I don't think that I really set any goals for myself, which maybe I need to. But you remember at the beginning of the season—I couldn't even do five minutes of laps without having to stop, and now that's something that I can do. So probably improving my endurance, and I feel like I have done that. It's been forced, but it's happened. Failing is what I’m focusing on! [laughs] I like derby, but...but yeah, improving that, but I don't think I really had any set goals necessarily. But I think I've achieved things that I'm proud of.

Yeah! I feel kind of similar in that sometimes I don't always have a set goal because the things I want might not be within my reach necessarily, so it's just like, whatever happens, I'm going to celebrate it.

Yeah, I think that's probably the way I'm kind of more so in just doing my best and you know, if I do something good, then fantastic. But yeah, so maybe next year I'll come with something that I want to make sure happens.

What is a hobby that you would like to get into or maybe one that you would want to return to?

Okay—let's see. I've been doing hobbies. I started basket weaving, which some people have heard about. I've been discussing my basket weaving. Let's see, outside of derby, I do naturalist things and so everyone knows my love of birds, so probably actually get more into birding. I don't go birding a lot, but I like learning about it. I like doing different things with it, learning all the stupid little bird names. So yeah, probably more actively birding.

Do you have a favorite bird that you could tell us one fact about?

I'm on the spot! But I have learned that I really like owls. Owls are chill, they’re cool, they're little crazy things. Their ears are actually lopsided so one is lower than the other, but it's so they can have more of a 360 hearing. And as you know, they can't turn their heads all the way around (I feel like everyone knows that). That's my fun fact!

How did you choose your skater name and number?

Obviously my skater name is Killer Kanary, and my number is 240.

So I have a disorder like Tourette's where I have tics, and so I make bird noises, little chirps and things. I forget who helped me come up with the name, but I was trying to come up with something fun, cute, and someone suggested, "Well why don't you do something bird related? Because you're making these little purrs and clicks and noises and things." I was like, well that's cute. So someone said Killer Kanary, and I didn't even come up with it. I can't remember who helped me, I think it was Kenzie who was there last year, did fresh meat with me. But yeah, so having tics, it's great.

And then 240: it comes from my area code when I lived up in Maryland, for the phone. I had no creativity, I didn't know what to do, so that's what I got.

How do you like to spend your time outside of derby?

I mostly hang out with my boyfriend and my pup. My dog wants to play all the time. He's an Australian Shepherd. He has a massive amount of energy, so I hang out with him a lot. I do a lot of reading. I take my naturalist classes where I do nature things. So yeah, and then I just work. That’s my main things.

What is something that roller derby has taught you about yourself?

You can do hard things! I think I've said this to everyone, but I really wanted to quit because at the beginning, when it—usually things click for me. Derby did not click for me, for a very long time, and it still hasn't fully clicked. But after doing fresh meat, I was like, I still suck, this is awful. I got held back in my fresh meat class, which was fine. [laugh] But I was like, I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to do this, so I was like I might as well just suck.

I guess it basically just taught me: you can do hard things, you can keep doing it, you don't have to be good immediately at everything because literally I think I stayed a couple more months and things just started clicking. It worked out for me, and I really like it now, and I can't imagine leaving. It's like a little cult. And now I'm in it. Can I leave? Who knows. [laughs]

Well this is a perfect segue—we are about to start a new fresh meat class, so any other advice you could give the fresh meat, besides don't give up because you can do it?

Don't give up, never surrender. You know, just be patient with yourself. It's really hard. I feel like we lose a lot of people because they kind of have that same thing where they're like, "Ooh this is not clicking." But literally everyone will tell you that, honestly you don't start really being able to grasp everything until two years in. Be patient, it takes some time, but if you stick with it, you're gonna love it, and everyone wants you to do well. They don't want you to fail, they want you to be there, they want you to do well.

Or do rec league! You don't have to be fully in it, because attendance, making attendance is hard as well. So just find a way to make it work for you, even if it's not necessarily like gonna fit everything in your life right now.

What is your favorite thing about Hard Knox as a team?

I think I've covered this a little bit, but just how supportive everyone is. You know, everyone was really sweet, everyone really wants you to feel welcomed. I think it took me a little bit to get into it, but people still keep inviting you to things and still want you to show up, even if you're not the most outgoing person. But yeah, I just like how nice everyone is and, you know, just the community that it is, which seems like a really basic answer, but that's the great part of it. You just have a community!

Who would you like to nominate next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Strike, my lovely blocking partner. What do I want to ask her...I feel like the easiest one is like why did you join? Why are you here? Who put you here? So yeah, I guess I'll ask her why did you want to do derby, and do you feel like you’re in a cult now? [laughs]

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Kanary, thank you for a great conversation that kept me laughing the entire time! Readers, our regular season may be over, but you can still catch Hard Knox in the Pride Parade on Friday, October 6, and of course, some of you may be joining us as fresh meat very soon! Until next time, be like Kanary and know that you can do hard things.

-smalls-

September Featured Skater: Bumble Beast

Name: Bumble Beast

Number: 916

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Bettys

Years skating: 8

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She’s a new addition to our league this year, and we are so lucky to have her fierce blocking with the Brawlers. Get to know September’s skater of the month: Bumble Beast!

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You were nominated by Trauma Queen; she knows that you moved here from Arizona and took a big leap to move away from everything you had known. So her question is: have you found the home with Hard Knox that you were looking for?

I did! Life’s gotten a lot better since coming and joining you guys. When we first moved here, we obviously didn’t know anyone. Justin had the benefit of going into work, so he got to meet people there. I work from home, so for about six months (because I moved in July of 2022) I only saw my husband and my child’s face for the most part. I got a little isolated, and so that’s when I was like—I need to get out, I need to meet people, and a lot of my circle back home is from derby, a lot of my close friends, which is funny because I hadn’t played for years since before we moved, and those people stuck around. So yeah, we decided to do that, and it has been exactly what I needed. It’s been really nice. It’s exhausting at times, which is expected, but it was exactly what I needed.

How did you first discover derby?

I had an old coworker that was starting. I don’t remember how she found it, but so with my old league, we did cycles of fresh meat. There were three cycles you had to go through. I want to say like six weeks long for each one, and you would have to pass to move on. This was back in qualifications days with WFTDA. So she started a cycle before me, and then I started in May of 2015 (it might have been the start of June). Either way, I had my orientation in May in 2015, which was a really pivotal time in my life for a lot of reasons. So yeah, I joined with her, and I found my community, way more than I thought I—when I signed up for derby, I did not know what was coming in life, and then that’s what saved me. It was a big part of what saved me, not completely.

Had you done athletic things as a kid?

Not really? I was on the soccer team, and outside of that, no. I had never found an activity I really enjoyed doing, in the sense of dedicating time to it. I dabbled in a lot of things. I dabbled in tennis. I learned as an adult that I really like to run when I’m stressed; I don’t like to run any other time. Yeah, so not really any, I did cheerleading when I was five and I promptly quit that.

So what was people’s reaction when you told them then that you were doing derby, and is it the same as when you tell people now?

Then, it was concern to make sure I was okay. I was going through a lot of life changes at the time, so I think it was more—it was a lot of support, but also, you see the bruises and the marks and all of that, and you get worried. Most people were really impressed by it. If you met someone who’s like, “Oh, I play roller derby!” People are like, “Oh, that’s so cool!” I would say most people are impressed.

How do they react now…I think it’s the same thing. They’re always really excited by it, and they want to ask you questions. They ask if it’s like what they’ve seen on TV or in Whip It, and you have to explain the differences to them, but I’ve never met anybody who’s like, “Ew, roller derby.” It’s always a good icebreaker.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

Oh gosh. So my name comes from my maiden name, which is McBee. And so my brothers growing up were really into sports, and they called themselves “The Killer Bees.” It was actually my gamertag before it was my roller derby name. So when I joined, I joined as Bumble Beest (and I spelled it with two Es back then) because I was just like, I’ll be the bumble bee, but we’ll make it tough. And now I spell it as “Beast” because I like that spelling a little better, but I was not gonna order new jerseys back in Arizona.

My number is actually—so it is actually the anniversary of my late boyfriend and me. It’s September 16, so 916. I did it as an homage to him because he died two weeks before I started derby. We were in a car accident, we were actually going to get derby things and got hit, so I did it as a, I dedicated it to him. I’d signed up beforehand, and I started about two weeks after that. I dedicated derby to him for that, so that’s why I kept the number. I thought about changing it when I moved, because I’m in a very different time of my life now, but it didn’t feel right.

I mean, it’s a part of you.

It is! When I say derby saved me, I’m not exaggerating.

What are some of your favorite achievements on the track?

Oh gosh. One, I’m just really proud of myself for getting back to it, and it’s about celebrating the small moments. So in the last practice when we were doing the four corners [drill], I got hit, dropped on the knee, and I immediately popped back up. I thought back to, I think it was the first month we were in practice this year, when we did the Get Knocked Down [drill with a lot of knee taps] — that kicked my ass. I had not been active in awhile, I had a child in COVID, I worked a desk job, I was a little lazy. And so when we did that, it kicked my ass. So when I just barely knee tapped, and got up and kept skating, it was like a little light bulb over my head, like, “Oh sh*t! I am remembering how to do this! My body is changing!”

So it’s about those little things. Like the last game, I was telling my husband (and I think a couple other friends too) that I wasn’t even gonna last, since right around break, it’s like a switch flipped, and it’s feeling more natural now. So thinking about recycling the jammer and you know, the moves that you need to do and that muscle memory, it’s finally all clicking, and it’s all falling into place, and that in general, I felt different in that last game we played. And I had way too much energy, I have no idea why.

I mean, it’s a good thing to have energy!

I was hurting so bad the next day! [laughs] I think I told Annie [bench coach] you can put me out in every line, I had so much energy, please just send me out there. And Justin was so salty he missed that game. He was like, “You got the game ball and I wasn’t even there to see the game, this is BS.”

It was a great game. It was so fun to watch. I was so glad that I got to actually cheer for y’all the whole time.

Oh my gosh, we loved having you on the bench.

Well, what is your favorite position to play?

You know, I played jammer before, a lot. I really enjoy playing blocker. And it’s not saying that I won’t go back to jamming one day, just that right now I’m really really enjoying blocking, and I don’t have much interest to jam. But I know that anything I put here, if I decide to go back to jamming one day, it’s only going to make me stronger. I’m a firm believer: you should practice both, which is why I don’t mind being a pivot because you know what I mean? It’s great to have both of those skills.

What do you love about blocking?

It feels more like a team sport, in blocking, than it did as a jammer, you know? As a jammer, you are kind of playing your own game with occasional help, and your goal is to get through that wall and it’s, you know, four against one (if the whole wall is there). But as a blocker, it’s four against one in the other way, you know what I mean? So you get to kind of create those relationships and learn how your teammates move and how they react and what they’re good at, and what you know they’ll need help with and what you need help with, and I really like that. I didn’t get to experience much of that before, and I think it’s what I needed, this time around anyways.

And what do you love about jamming?

Honestly, it’s exhausting! Right now, not a lot. It’s, I think as my endurance gets up, I’ll enjoy it more, but I feel like you get really proud of yourself. I think getting through a wall as a jammer—again, it’s four against one, like that is really badass to do, and to laugh and do it again. Those blockers are not running full laps at full speed! No! They’re getting to take a breath when you get out and figure it out, and that’s not saying blocking isn’t hard, clearly it is, but you just gotta keep going. That sh*t’s exhausting. So any jammer who is going out there and giving it their all should be very proud of themselves, because holy sh*t. We are very glad you’re doing it, because we don’t want to!

I think the successes feel so much higher when you’re a jammer, you know, because you share in the victory as a blocker—

—It’s the lack of oxygen! [laughs]

[laughs] The difficulty and the lack of oxygen make that an unhealthy combination!

It’s kind of like being the quarterback. You get to be the star, you’re the face. And that’s what the crowd learns if they don’t have anyone else there. They’re paying attention to that jammer, and that’s not saying there’s not something to be impressive about blockers. Most of my fangirl crushes are all blockers, like holy sh*t look at her go, but that might just be because that’s where my head’s at right now too.

This could be derby related, but it doesn’t have to be: is there anything on your bucket list that might surprise people?

I’d really like to go swimming with sharks.

Yeah? Where would you do that?

I have no idea. My husband won’t do it with me.

I cannot blame him!

He’s terrified of the ocean in general. Not saying that he won’t go to a beach and enjoy himself, but open water movies, he’s terrified through [them], and I’m so mean, I think it’s hilarious, I make him watch them with me. I think he would do it if I really truly asked, but I know he would prefer not to. So it’s hard to plan that around a vacation because you usually go out with your spouse, right? But I don’t know, I think it’d be really cool, terrifying as hell, but that’s one I feel like I could face, versus jumping out of a plane, which could not pay me enough money to do. Which he would probably do! But I think I feel like that changes too, right? Depending on the season of life you’re in.

What is your most common penalty, and what does it say about you and your playing style?

That’s changed! It was directionals at the start of the season, I got them all the time, but I don’t feel like I’ve gotten a directional in a while. I don’t know that I’m seeing a lot of trend lately. I mean, I definitely get called on penalties, but they change. It’s not enough that I’m like, zooming in on it like I did the directionals, because that was almost every time, and I was like, “I know, I’m sorry.” I would say maybe probably cut tracks, right, because I like to play in [lane] 4, so I’m right there.

How do you find a balance between derby and real life?

It exists?

Supposedly!

Yeah, no, clearly not well. Honestly, I lean on Justin a lot. He supports me in derby because that’s a lot, especially on bout days. You know I’m on track crew, so I’m getting there at what, 1:30? So he’s taking on child care for the whole afternoon, and then you know everything there, and he takes on child care for practices and everything, and we are a very 50/50 partnership with all things, and that’s definitely somewhere where he’s pulling a lot more of that weight. I couldn’t do it if he didn’t, which is, you know, and it’s about balance and you have to. But I feel like it’s a little easier for me right now because derby is really my outside of real life thing; I don’t have much else outside of my family and derby, because y’all are really all I know out here.

And we’re glad to be the ones you know out here!

I’m very glad too!

What is your favorite part of bout day?

Of bout day? Playing the game. It’s an adrenaline that takes over, and it is so much fun. Like you can have all of the nerves, you can be exhausted, you can be sore, but it feels like the moment you go out—the first jam, it’s always, it’s like the first pancake, just get it out of the way and be done with it, but once you’ve done that, I feel like it just clicks into place. You’re like, “Oh sh*t, I do know how to do this, I have been practicing this extensively.” It’s actually playing the game. It’s a lot of fun.

So we are near the end of the season (doesn’t feel like it but we are). Do you have any goals for yourself for next year?

I would love to, and I don’t know that I can do it next year, we have a really strong, but I would love to get a chance to play on the A team. I’m not there yet and I know that, but I would love to be able to get there before the end of the season for a game or two. I try to push myself to do a lot more drills with the A team when we’re at practice for that reason because I know it’s going to push me to be better because I hold myself to a different standard.

What is the feeling that roller derby leaves you with?

Changes day by day. But in general, I feel fulfilled in life right now and all things. I feel, what is the word I’m looking for…I feel validated in our choice to move because we have found everything that we were looking for, especially for moving someplace neither of us had ever been. We didn’t visit Knoxville, we didn’t visit Tennessee. We just threw a dart on a map, bought a house and moved. So Justin has found a great job and he’s been able to really get into hobbies that he’s really enjoyed. Like he loves to fish (he’s taking a break from fishing, I think they’re going through something) and garden, and I get to play derby and be outside more and you know I’ve always loved like nature and all of that, and it’s just, obviously there’s nature in Phoenix, but it’s a very different beast.

Yeah, derby helps validate that. I was definitely questioning our move right before joining because I was like, “What did I do? You moved 1800 miles away from all your friends and family, what were you doing?”

Who would you like to nominate next month, and what do you want to ask?

Killer Kanary. I want to know: why did she join derby, and is that the reason she’s still in it. She surprises me all the time, and she’s always the one that gets me in trouble for laughing in practices, so I have the feeling that an interview with her is going to be the same.

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Thank you for a great conversation Beast! Readers, September is our final month of home bouts, so come on out and cheer on your hometown heroes! Until next time, be like Bumble Beast, and find the people in your life who you can lean on as we all try to find balance in our lives.

-smalls-

August Featured Skater: Trauma Queen

Name: Trauma Queen

Number: 626

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Moonshine Moxies

Years skating: 2

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Her fierceness on the track is matched only by her sweetness off of it—get to know August’s skater of the month: Trauma Queen!

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You were nominated by Jersey Cyclone, who has two questions for you. The first one—why did you want to do derby in the first place?

Well, it’s something I’d always thought about. I used to work at a bar that had one wall that was featuring local things, like there was a picture of Johnny Knoxville and Dolly Parton, and there was a picture of the Hard Knox Roller Girls from back in, I wanna say 2010 was when the photo was taken, and this was about 2012, when I saw it. I remember thinking that they looked like a bunch of really badass people, and I would like to be a part of that, but I really just didn’t know how to go about getting into it.

And so I had a series of things leading up to when I found derby (in summer of ‘21 at Goose Poop Island) that really just made me feel like I needed something that could help me take my power back. I went through some traumatic events that I won’t really share, but the people that know me know what they are, and I just needed something that made me feel like me again, my kind of thing that I could fit into, and definitely found it with the derby community.

Had you skated before then?

When I was a kid, I used to skate. We went to the skating rink in Oak Ridge pretty regularly, but even with that much time on skates, it was shocking when I started boot camp, how much I really didn’t know about skating. I could skate, I could stay upright, and I could stop by slamming into a wall, but that’s really about all I could do. But so yeah, I liked to skate, but I just really wasn’t very experienced with it all. My dad used to take us to the overnight lock-ins at the skating rinks sometimes, which me and my brother loved. That was always fun.

So you grew up in Knoxville?

I grew up in a small town about 45 minutes north of Knoxville, closer to the Anderson County area, which [is why] we went to the Oak Ridge Skating Rink. So I’ve been in Knoxville since probably 2013/2014-ish.

And Jackie’s other question is: what have you learned about yourself because of derby?

A lot—that I’m tougher than I think I am (sometimes a lot of people like to remind me of that), that I’m still capable of learning new things in my 30s, how to be comfortable in my own skin. You know, I definitely was a little more self-conscious about wearing shorts and things, body image issues (like most of us have), but now I wear shorts and stuff pretty much all the time. Just because the acceptance of all body types in derby has really brought a lot to the table for me, opened my mind to where it’s just accepting, and I really don’t care what anybody might think anymore because I’m good with myself.

What has been your favorite position to play?

Blocker for sure. As we all know, that’s kind of my strong suit. I do not like to jam. I really am trying to get more comfortable as a pivot, but even then, the panic of forgetting that you’re wearing the panty when your jammer needs help is very real, so that’s still not something I’m super comfortable with, but I like to be in the middle in a wall. I feel like I’m pretty good as a butt, and I really like playing offense, especially when it’s impulsive offense. When I see my jammer trying to get through, just take out the brace or something like that, and I really love when it’s actually effective. That makes me want to do it more.

We had a moment in scrimmage last night where I was able to get my jammer through by just throwing myself into the brace and she didn’t see it coming, so she even told me after the jam, she was like, “Damn, I didn’t even know you were there.” I’m like yeah!

Using some of the things we had just been working on!

Yeah, pretty much! So that’s fun. I love when that all clicks too.

How would you describe your style as a blocker? Do you have a signature move or anything like that?

Not really I don’t feel like? Definitely a little chaotic. Kilty said something to me in practice the other day when we were doing the drill where the two blockers were driving the jammer, dropping them off, and going to the next person. He said, “It doesn’t have to be pretty as long as it’s effective.” And I’m like, that is my whole style: it doesn’t have to be pretty as long as it’s effective.

So you know, I just do what I can, but trying to get more comfortable with hitting hard too, because I want to be known for hard hits, and damn, okay, didn’t expect that, didn’t see that coming—I like that.

It’s always fun to hear the crowd react like that.

Oh yeah, that is fun. That one good hit that I got a few games ago, when I hit—I caught the jammer, she’d gotten out of the wall but I managed to catch up to her. She was trying to go by me sideways, and I shoulder hit her right in the chest, and the way that she flew back, spun around, landed on her stomach, and just slid across the floor, and the crowd, not only did the crowd go, “Ooh,” but they called the jam off and called medics over, so the whole place went quiet. And I was like, “Damn, okay!” And she’s fine now, we all know, but I could relish in it because she was okay, because that was the ultimate, not only did the crowd go, “Ooh” but then it got quiet.

And it was all legal!

It was! It was all legal. Super fun.

Now, if you’re ever not legal, what is your most common penalty to get?

Probably a directional and maybe a forearm. I get low blocks from time to time too when I fall—it’s always that someone has knocked me into somebody else and I fall into them. But my favorite low block was a few games ago when I happened to fall just right that my skirt, very short skirt, managed to get tangled in my wheel somehow, and I couldn’t stand. I tried to stand two or three times and was like, “What’s going on?” And about the time I realized, someone tripped over me, and Throbb called me to the box for a low block, and I’m like, “But I’m trying!” I had to pull my skirt out of my skate. But I was just kind of impressed, like how did I even do that? I had to have fallen just right for this much skirt to wind up in my skate.

The physics are, you wrap your head around it—

I couldn’t have done it if I had tried!

So when you tell people that you play roller derby, what is their reaction?

Ooh, mostly like, “Wow” and “That’s so cool” and most of them usually say something like, “Well that checks out” or “That makes sense.” Probably just because I fit the stereotypical fit girl with tattoos, purple hair. I’m kind of like the Barbie doll of roller derby.

You could be Weird Barbie!

Yes, exactly! Probably will be Weird Barbie for a bout, honestly, because she’s my favorite. I like the actress too, she’s just fun.

Well, how did you get your skater name and number? Where did those come about?

Well the number was one of the first things I decided before I even picked my name, because of Stitch (Lilo and Stitch), he is experiment 626. So when picking my number, I asked if that one was available, and I had my fingers crossed big time that no one else had taken it, and I was very excited they didn’t. Stitch has a little bit of a sentimental thing to me. It was my aunt and my cousin’s and my favorite movie when I was younger. She got that movie, the DVD, for me for Christmas, and we watched it a lot. So I love Lilo and Stitch, and I always get little Stitch things. Now I just love being 626, and I even like hearing sometimes in scrimmage when Throbb will call me: Black, 626. It’s just like: Abomination 626.

And as far as my skater name goes, I was looking for something punny and unironically being known as Trauma, considering that’s the amount of trauma that I’ve experienced, and it just made sense for me. And Queen, because who doesn’t want to be known as Something Queen, Queen of Anything. I’ll be the Queen of Trauma.

What’s a piece of advice that someone has given you that’s stuck with you?

Trusting your teammates and getting to know your teammates and really taking the time to develop that chemistry. Like for example, when I was given my blocking partner at the beginning of the season this year, which is [Bumble] Beast. I really hadn’t spoken to her very much, I didn’t really know her, and I remember wondering how they picked blocking partners and how they decided that that would be a thing. But us working together repetitively and spending time together, we have absolutely developed that chemistry, and it’s just, to me, it’s crazy how well that it fits. So trust my teammates, give it a chance, get to know them, and now I’m kind of lost on the track without her, so I love it.

What’s your favorite part of bout day?

The makeup. I like getting dressed and going with the theme and doing something fun and wild with my makeup, and it’s gotten to where ‘regular makeup,’ I’m not very good at it any more. I have to be out there with it because I love bout day makeup and glitter. I also really like the parts where we arrive early and get to hang out and kind of spend time together that we don’t really get to spend otherwise. And then of course Mental now doing the family meal thing is one of the best things of bout day, because we all get to eat, enjoy each other, and hang out together in that little bit of extra time.

And of course the newest addition to bout day is the makeup table where we all sit over there, and I like helping my teammates with the makeup because somehow I’ve managed to get halfway decent at it when all I do is play in it for bout days, but I end up helping to do makeup for other people, and I like doing that too.

So we’re halfway through our season. Thinking back to the beginning of this season, did you have any goals for yourself? And if so, have you accomplished any of them, made any progress, or made any adjustments to your goals?

Well I remember one of them for sure was to be more aggressive, and I definitely have accomplished that. I am not as afraid to throw hits as I used to be, and in that same note there, being able to stay upright when I throw hits, and I have most definitely been doing better about that, like keeping my balance with throwing hits. And one of the other goals that I remember saying was being able to help out as a pivot, and I have absolutely not gotten there yet. But still trying from time to time. I will in scrimmage, but I don’t want that pressure on me for an actual game.

It’s a lot different.

It is. In scrimmage, I’m willing to try anything, and be places that I’m not used to being to get out of my comfort zone, because that’s what practice is for. In game, I want my comfy zone, I want my blocking partner, and I want what I’m used to doing. At least in the beginning, and then of course we know how the way it goes. She’ll be in the box, and I’ll go out without her, then you just gotta do the best you can.

How do you spend your time outside of roller derby?

Well I work a lot, but I do really enjoy my job. I’m a bartender and I do spend time in the bars with fellow bartenders. When I’m not at work, I don’t go out as much as I used to, but I also really am kind of a homebody, and I like to be at home and I love my house. I like to play with my garden and my houseplants and my flowers, so I enjoy really just kind of being an old lady about things and just doing old lady hobbies. I like to paint flower pots and rocks and silly things like that. And then I have a dog and three cats that I like to lay around and read books with, just kind of chill.

Tell me about them!

My dog’s name is Grimm. He is about five and a half years old, Great Dane/Great Pyrenees mix, and he’s a very good boy. And then I have three cats that all have very different personalities. Two of them are black cats, Baby Werewolf and Luciper Meowning Star. And then I have Spooky, who is a gray and black tabby and she’s just a little scared girl, so she just hangs out. When we have company, she hides, like right now I haven’t seen her in a couple of days because she’s hiding in my back bathroom. But we just like to hang out at the house, we all coexist very well.

What advice would you give to someone who’s thinking about playing roller derby?

Just do it. Absolutely go for it. You might be surprised at what you can do, will definitely be surprised at what you can do. And you will find friends that you never even thought that you could.

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask her?

Bumble Beast. I know that she spent quite a bit of time away from derby and then came back when she moved here. She moved here from Arizona, I wanna say. So she took a big leap and moved away from everything she knew, and decided to join a team here, and I just want to know if she found a home with Hard Knox that she was looking for.

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Thank you for a great conversation Trauma! Readers, you will definitely want to see her throwing those big hits at our next bout, which is on August 12. Until next time, be like Trauma Queen and trust the teammates in your life.

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July Featured Skater: Jersey Cyclone

Name: Jersey Cyclone

Number: 925

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Lolitas

Years skating: 2

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You know her as one of the most fearless jammers for the Brawlers, but on the team, she’s affectionately known as the Toe Stop Queen. Get to know July’s Skater of the Month: Jersey Cyclone!

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You were nominated by Madam Bomb, who has two questions, so we’ll start with the first one here. She wants to know: what are you most proud of, as far as something you have overcome in derby?

Just the fact that I even did fresh meat. It’s something that I’ve wanted to do for years—ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to do derby, like I saw on TV (because that’s how old I am!). And then I forgot about it until I saw Whip It, and that brought it back to my memory. When the team started here, that was ‘06, I was like oh my gosh, yeah. So just the fact that I actually went to fresh meat, that was like the first hurdle, that was a miracle because I was out of my comfort zone. I like my life as it is.

Otherwise: the fact that I can actually do a partial of a plow, or a one-footed plow, or any time I get lead jammer, since I haven’t done it that long, because that’s always a goal. And I was not successful the last bout, at all. I was successful wiping the floor and that was about it.

But you kept pushing through that last bout!

Yeah, but I don’t know, I’m just super hard on myself, so I know people mean it as a good thing, you didn’t give up, and I feel that’s like my signature line, “You don’t give up!” But there’s so much more I want to do. Let’s see…really just surviving every practice currently, because my body’s so tired and worn out, but just every little thing. I don’t take anything for granted. Any little thing that I can accomplish, I try to realize that, okay, you know, I did it.

So what gave you the final push to want to actually do fresh meat?

Well, I guess it was just life in general. Because when the league came here, I was on second shift, so I couldn’t do it because I had to work weekends, and second shift is purely during bouts and practices. Then when I was on day shift, and since I’m in management, I’m not supposed to work weekends (although we’re short staffed, so that kind of messed everything up, so that’s been an added stress factor because I have to divide the two and it’s very hard) so just the fact that I had time, and this past year just personally and privately have been like, “Okay, I’m going to stop saying no to things that I want to do.” Because, you know, I’m a giver, I’m that person for everyone that does for them and not for myself, so I was like, okay, I’m going to do this one thing. So derby has maintained my sanity for this past year, literally.

So it was just the year to do it. Even though work is super stressful and we have crazy short staffing, I’m not gonna say no anymore, so I asked a question (I think it was on IG, on Instagram I saw the post) and then Kilty called me. That was at work, and I was like, I can’t talk, because obviously at work, I try to leave work and life separate, but I just went for it. Even when I bought all my stuff, right before fresh meat, I was like, “Okay, do I really…” and I was like yes, I’m going to do this.

And also the teamwork, that was also a driving force for joining. I mean, it’s just a great group of people. It’s insane how we’re all different, but we all get along. Like that’s just one thing that kind of worried me, because that’s not always the case, and there’s no judgment (or if there is, people are really quiet about it!) but I just feel like everyone has that camaraderie and want people to do better and to see people successful and be the team. I mean yes, there are people that get along better than other people, that’s life in general, but I really appreciated that portion of it. You can be having just the worst day ever, and you go to derby, and by the end of the night, you’re tired, worn out, but everything is just gone.

This kind of goes along with Madam’s second question. Do you tell people in real life that you do derby?

So I did not until I started posting on Facebook and Instagram after I guess the first home bout, or with the first home bout. Otherwise no. The people that knew: Tessa, who was in fresh meat with me, she told somebody, and she told me the first night of fresh meat, “Oh I texted [whoever]!” and I was like, “Tessa…no no…this is me we’re talking about.” So I had to go to that person (because we work together) and I was like, “Please don’t say anything.” Well then Randy and Heidi know somebody, so they said something, and I had to go to that person. I was like, “I haven’t told anyone, I’m not telling anyone, please just *zip*.” And then [Mobile] Crisis, her mom works for me, so she knew, so I had to go to her and be like, “Okay, let’s not say anything.” So if anything ever came up, I would be like *quiet*.

I told my mom and my step-father, I had to tell them just because of life situations. I didn’t tell my dad until the day of my first bout in April, and that was only because he asked me directly on the phone, so I couldn’t skirt my way around it. When I told him about the Skate-A-Thon in March, I was like, “Yeah, I’ve kind of been doing this skating, why not.” And he was like okay, but then in April…so now he’s like a fanatic, he’s super excited. But no, until the season actually started and I started playing, I did not tell anyone. But this week, or last week, I guess after the last bout, I guess people actually started paying attention to my pictures, so I’ve had questions here and there. I mean, but granted, if you look at me and all the bruises I come to work with and people are like, “My gosh!” *laughs* It’s okay, I just bruise really easy, you know, run into things, it’s all good. Now they’re like, “Ohhhhhh!” These are my badges of honor, so just leave it alone!

Was it a shyness or a you didn't want to jinx it?

No, I’m just a super private person in life in general. I talk about things very rarely and to very few select people, so that’s just how I am.

Had you skated or done any sort of athletic things as a kid?

Growing up I did dancing, like ballet, hence the toe stop queen things that I do; otherwise sport sports, no, it was all dance. Until we moved down here, and then I stopped, so it had been years. But otherwise roller skating was just something you did for fun. I hadn’t skated since I was a teenager, and even then, it might have been since I was a kid. When we lived up North in Jersey, our front yard was a big front yard. During the winter it froze over, a little section of it, so I used to ice skate back in the day, but yeah, not roller skating.

But I do feel like I’ve gotten a lot better—oh another proud thing! So the fact that I don’t fall every time Kilty looks at me, because that’s pretty much what I did, the first month of fresh meat. Any time he looked at me, it was immediately *smack* Like Kilty, really? I’m gonna need a new helmet because of you! So yeah, hadn’t skated in years.

So I assume Jersey is where your name comes from, is that right?

Yeah, so I intentionally—my initials are J and C, so I had to go with that. Jersey is a part of me, so I was like, I’ve got to make my name a part of me.

And the Cyclone is my goal for myself. I just want to swoop in, be fast, wreck havoc, and then, you know, do my thing. So yes, there’s much thought that was behind [it].

Oh I love that! And what about your number? Where does that come from?

It’s my birthday. So everything has to tie together.

Well we are halfway through our season right now. How has it been for you? Have there been any surprises, successes, things you still want to accomplish?

I mean, there’s always things to accomplish, you always have to have goals because if you don’t have goals, you’re not gonna drive, you’re not gonna push yourself. So just to do better at getting through the walls and be a better jammer, score points, and just be able to [have] track awareness because I literally don’t remember any of my bouts, like at all. Like the first bout that was away, I wasn’t nervous, I guess it was just pure adrenaline. I did fairly well, I got lead, I was happy with that. That was a goal, but just working and growing with the team and the Brawlers, because I think the Brawlers’ season compared to last season are phenomenally doing well, above and beyond. Not that they were bad last season, but I just think there’s just a cohesion this year that wasn’t there last year. And then I guess the first home bout, I feel like it was my best one, and I feel like I’ve kind of gone backwards in my brain, and it may not be the reality, but in my brain, I feel like I’ve hit a plateau.

I just want us to communicate better, because that’s one thing that I need, that communication. That’s why when I’m with you in a wall, because you are really good, and Siren is really good at communicating, or even Rattle yesterday, like she was just pulling my shirt, and I literally appreciated it because I knew what she wanted me to do. Because otherwise no one was talking, and when there’s complete silence, I feel like there’s just chaos. Which it is chaos, but that just adds to it, to a whole nth degree, so as a team, I just want that communication a little bit better. But I think even the new new fresh meat, they have worked their way into the Brawlers really really well, so I think for half of the Brawlers to be less than a year in, I mean I really feel like we’ve all done really well.

I agree! What is your favorite part of bout day, like a home bout day?

It’s just the energy, like everyone is excited, some are nervous, so I just feed off people and I feel their emotions. It’s just fun and different, and until you go into a bout you don’t really understand it. Because even when we were just watching last year and not bouting, it was still a good time.

Granted, getting ready, doing my makeup stresses me out because I’m not a makeup kind of person, but then two, it’s fun, because it’s outside of regular roles, so I’m making myself step out of my normal, which was a whole reason of doing derby as well.

And just being around everyone, because again, the team really is just a great group of people. I’m a watcher, so just watching everyone is my happy place, you know the after party—I can just sit there and watch everyone chit chat and listen, learn, you know, and I’m happy. Just the whole experience. Ultimately, derby is meant to be fun, especially bout days.

So if you’re just watching at an afterparty, and then the band starts, or the DJ starts, and there’s a song that’s gonna get you on the dance floor—what is that song?

Oh gosh, there’s so many. Like music is just—I love music. And it drives me crazy that I can’t hear the music when I’m in a jam because I hear nothing, because I feel like it would actually help calm me down. So they played the Backstreet Boys at the bout last time, and I was like oh my gosh. There’s a lot because I listen to all kinds of genres. I guess it would just depend on me, if I was that excited to get in front of people, like when we had the practice the other day and we had to do the different stations, and one of them was the dancing thing, and I was like, “I won’t dance.” Y’all can do your thing. But I do like to dance, just in a different mindset. You’ll see me bobbing my head, but I don’t know that I’d walk out of my comfort zone, unless I was a little tipsy, but even then.

What is your most common penalty, and does it say anything about you or your playing style?

Cut track, all the time, especially in scrimmage, and I swear I’m not cutting the track, but I’m like really, again? I did get back block, earlier in my first bout, and I think I broke that habit because I’m very conscientious of it because I don’t want to hurt somebody, and so it’s part of the reason why I don’t go super fast, which I know hinders me because I can’t get through the wall if I’m not going fast, but I just have it stuck in my brain, I don’t want to hurt somebody and get a back block. And not that I care about the penalty—I just don’t want to hurt somebody. But yeah, cut track, that’s my [penalty] all the time. I got one last night. I was like Mag, like really? She was like, because I knew I stepped out, but then Shine ran back, so I stepped out then I realized I stepped in, and she started going. It was an instantaneous thing, and Mag was like, “Cut track!” And I was like, “No!”

I was trying to do it right!

Yeah you know, it was a moment! And even on bouts with the rope, I got cut track last bout, and I totally did not feel the rope at all, because Override called it, and I was like what? No, I did not feel the rope underneath my skate. So that’s one I need to work on. But I can’t help it; lane one and four, those are just my go-tos, because going through people is not—that’s a goal, that’s not my strong suit. I can push people, but to get through people, like I know Kilty keeps telling me to wiggle myself, but that’s not, it doesn’t comprehend.

Do you ever find yourself leaning back on any of your ballet or dance training in derby?

I mean, just with the toe stop thing, that helps, just having balance. I wish I was more fluid about it. Because when Inga did the practice with the different elements, she was the water, and I was like, “Oh, that’s just so calm and peaceful.” But I just don’t do that, and I default to my toe stops. And everyone loves that, but I’m like, “No, if I did laterals I’d be so much faster.” I feel like it’d be more efficient, but I just default to toe stops.

And like Kilty, how well he can jump the apex and all of that, I wish I could do that. And Kitty, with her fire, there are pieces of everyone that I want to absorb somehow, magically. That’s the good thing too, because I usually do timer for the penalty box, so I appreciate it because I can watch the bout, but then I’m so focused on timing that I don’t—I mean I’m watching, but it doesn’t sink in.

Because I want to learn from everyone. Everyone has good and bad, and you can learn from the bad too. Just like reffing, I would really like to learn how to ref so that I have that awareness too so I can hopefully prevent myself from getting penalties. But insofar I think usually one or two, I don’t think I’ve, maybe the first one I got three, so I feel like I’ve done well not to get too many penalties, but then that might mean I’m not trying hard enough, I don’t know. But I’ll take it as a positive.

It is a balance of learning where can you push things and where do you need to stay cautious as you are. Well what advice do you have for people who might want to play roller derby?

First, make sure you have the time, because if you cannot dedicate the time, it’s not gonna work. Like I knew we needed the time, but I didn’t realize how much time it was. Be open to learning, constructive criticism. I appreciate when people give me feedback; actually, when people don’t and they’re like, “You did great!” but I’m like no, I didn’t, I need you to tell me something because that’s how you’re going to get better and how you’re going to improve. And just take that leap of faith because when we did fresh meat and you all kept saying, “Just come back! Don’t give up!” That’s truly just, do not give up. Which I don’t. I’m purely a stubborn person. Unless I’m truly broken on the floor, I will get up.

So determination, have goals, and just want to learn, and be part of an awesome group of people. Again, the team is just a really great group of people. And two, even the volunteer stuff we’ve done. I mean, I haven’t done all of them, because I have to take off work, but giving back to the community like that is important too.

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask?

Trauma Queen. Why did you want to do derby in the first place, and what have you learned about yourself because of derby?

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Thank you for a great conversation Jersey! Readers, you can catch her and the rest of the team in action next Saturday, July 8. Until then, be like Jersey and don’t give up on yourself, no matter how tough the challenge is.

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