March Featured Skater: Panic Attack

Name: Panic Attack

Number: 143

Travel Teams: All Stars and Brawlers

Home Team: Moonshine Moxies

Years skating: 4.5 years

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She’s known for flying fast around the track and racking up huge amounts of points in a single jam! Get to know March’s Skater of the Month: Panic Attack!

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You were nominated by Death Starr, who wants to know: how many more years of derby do you think you have in you?

I would like to say at least ten more years? You know, life changes though, and I don’t know, things happen, but I want to keep going with derby. So I’m going to give myself at least ten more years, if I have it in me.

I like that as a goal! You got your start with roller derby in junior derby. How did you learn about it?

My stepmom, Jenny, decided for both of us to go help with Habitat for Humanity, and the derby team at the time, the adult league, just happened to also be volunteering. I was at that prime age when they’re trying to recruit everybody, so they were like, “You should try out junior roller derby! You would love it!” And I did, I went and I ended up falling in love with it, and I was like, “Yes, this is for me.” And so it was really just the volunteer work that got me into it.

Nice! Unexpected bonus from volunteer work. Were you playing any other sports as a kid?

When I was really young, I played softball, baseball, basketball, I was a cheerleader (when I was really young). But nothing really fit, and I was never really that good at anything, I didn’t like it. I didn’t like running, so I was like, “Running: not for me.” So derby was really what stuck from my childhood.

What was it for you as a kid that just clicked with you and roller derby? Was there anything in particular?

I guess what I liked about it was that I wasn’t bad at skating. I was able to stay on my feet. The instant friends that came with it too, and there are still people that I sometimes talk to today where I’m like, “That’s a good friend that I made from derby,” and that’s what I think I really love about it.

Now you jam with the adult league. Were you a jammer back then?

I was, but I wasn’t a very good one. I would put my arms up over my head, trying to squeeze through, thinking that that was the best way, but I was so tall that when my arms would come down, I would bop people on the helmet, and they’re like, “You can’t do that! Try not to put your arms in the air.” But I did jam from what I remember, but like I said, I wasn’t a very good one.

Well you’re definitely a good one now—you skate for both the All Stars and the Brawlers. How do those different team experiences compare for you?

Ooh, that’s a good question. Working with the Brawlers I enjoy because there are people who are newer than me, which means I can help show them newer skills that they might not know. I love being able to share my ideas and my thoughts, so I love that aspect of playing with Brawlers. Someone can always learn from you, you know? And I guess it’s kind of different switching to the All Stars—I can always learn from an All Star as well, since some have been playing for fifteen, twenty years. But both (ignoring the level between A and B) is that everyone is very, I guess, accommodating and…what word am I thinking of…like mending? You know, we mix well, people work well together.

No definitely, we have a lot of different types on each of the two teams. How would you describe your playing style nowadays?

I like going fast and I like hitting hard. I want to hit a blocker so hard that they go like, “Oww!” or they’re like, “Dang!” you know? You kind of catch them off guard cause sometimes they don’t really expect it out of jammers. But I like going fast.

Related to that, what is your most common penalty, and do you think that says anything about your playing style?

It used to be cut track, all the time, I was constantly cutting track. I don’t think I was paying attention enough. Now I would say it has probably leaned more towards back blocking because I am skating around so fast, I’m like, “You better get outta my way, I’m going for you, if you step in my way…” and yeah, I usually get a back block.

Sometimes they can be worth it!

Yes, sometimes they definitely are.

You’ve gotten quite a number of MVP Jammer awards. Is there one in particular that stands out to you?

[Looks around] They’re hanging around in my apartment right now, I’m trying to look. I’m trying to match them to what game as well.

They do start to blend at a certain point.

They do, they do. One year, I did randomly decide to go play for Naughty or Nice. It was a last minute (day of) they had an opening, and I was like, “Ok, fine I’ll go, I’ll go.” And then I ended up coming out of it with MVP Jammer, and I was like, “That’s really cool. It was worth the trip.” Another one that I do think of was my first game with our home team. I did get MVP for that, which was really nice. It was like the first instance of getting to know that Hard Knox league is very inclusive and it made me feel welcomed.

Well speaking of: your home team is the Moonshine Moxies. What would you say is your most Moxie trait?

I don’t know! Looking at all the other Moxies, we’re all very—I don’t know how you would describe it, nonchalant I guess? Especially when it comes to like Sin, very nonchalant, Mad Dawg, but when we need to be loud, we are loud, and we are proud.

I feel like the Moxies are always up for whatever, and I think you fit that pretty well.

That’s true, thank you. I feel like we haven’t had enough bonding time as maybe the other home teams have, which partly is my fault. There are times where I’m like, “I don’t want to go out and do the bonding trip,” but I would like to get to know more about a Moxie trait and how we should be.

What is the story behind your skater name and number?

My skater name honestly took me forever to figure out. When I did junior league, I did just go by Cagney for a long time because I didn’t know what. I wanted it to be cool, but I wanted it to be different, and I guess I just kind of landed on Panic Attack because as a kid, I had this weird breathing problem that the doctors were like, “It’s not asthma, it’s not this, it’s not that,” and they were like, “It’s probably panic attacks,” and I was like, “Oh, ok. Hey, that’s kind of cool.” And so I ended up just taking it as my derby name.

And then my number (143) does stand for “I love you,” and so I just thought, you know, let’s spread the love, why not, so that’s kind of where 143 came from.

Do you prefer home bouts or traveling for away bouts?

It definitely depends. I do love traveling, but I’m always the one to drive, so if it gets longer than five or six hours, I’m like, “Ooh, this isn’t very fun.” But I do very much love to travel, so I think I would probably prefer away bouts. I loved Jacksonville last year, that’s what I always think of, and Memphis was amazing. Indiana was a hard drive but it was very fun, getting up there and doing the Cornament.

What are some of your favorite places you’ve traveled not for derby?

We went on a cruise one time when I was younger, and that was really fun, mainly because the all you can eat food, twenty four seven. Yes, because I love to eat, so that was probably one of my favorite trips. The food, the weather, we went to the Bahamas, it was gorgeous. And yeah, it was amazing.

Do you have any goals for yourself for this upcoming season?

A main goal I’d say for this season is to stick with it. I’m having a hard time getting into it right now, so my main goal is to stick with it, keep going to practice, and just motivate myself to want to derby right now. And just continue to get better at jamming and blocking because we always need practice.

What advice would you have for people who want to play roller derby?

Don’t be afraid to fall down. You’re going to get hurt and it will hurt but don’t let that discourage you. Just try before you say no, just try. I think there’s a place for everybody in derby.

Who do you want to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Dazey Doom. What is a goal that you would like to accomplish for yourself this season? Is there anything that could get in the way of that goal?

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Thank you for a great conversation Panic! Readers, your All Stars and Brawlers are on the road this month to Las Vegas for the first bout of the year, so send the good vibes their way on March 7! Until then, be like Panic and just try before you say no.

-smalls-

July Featured Skater: Death Starr

Name: Death Starr

Number: 501

Travel Team: Chaos & Team Zebra

Home Team: Lolitas

Years skating: 2

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She’s made her mark on HKRD, both on the track and for our viewers at home. Get to know July’s Skater of the Month: Death Starr!

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You were nominated by The Count, who wants to know: What got you started in roller derby? What made you show up?

The first time I ever actually really heard of roller derby was 2013 in Austin, Texas. We were doing a team bonding event at my job, so we took our whole team to the Texas Rollergirls, and we watched a bout. In 2013 it was still very showy, they actually had lights and sounds, and of course lots of music and really great announcers. It was such a production, and I remember watching, thinking, “Oh my god, I love this, I want to do that!” And I actually spent the last three years at that job trying to get a shift that would allow me to go to their practices, but I never managed it. 

Fast forward to last year, 2024, and I’d kind of forgotten about it until I just happened to run across a Hard Knox Roller Girls youtube clip while scrolling through my feed. It was a very old one, I don’t remember who was in it or when, but I thought, “I wonder if they still exist?” So I looked up Hard Knox, found the website, and clicked join! Sent the email to the fresh meat, and yeah, that’s how I got into it. Kind of on a whim, but also an old dream come to life because I just happened to have the right kind of schedule where I could make practices.

It’s like the universe was putting some things together for you!

It was, and I love it!

Had you done sports before?

I played tennis in high school. I also did track, and that’s about it. I was the third Starr kid to come up in that middle and high school, and every team wanted me that had my brother and sister. So I tried out for cheerleading because the cheerleading coach wanted me to, did track because the track coach wanted me to. And I didn’t even get on the cheerleading team, and track—I’m not a runner, I hate running. But I got into tennis just on a whim, kind of like roller derby, and I was really good at it, so I played tennis in high school and had a lot of fun with that.

Where did you grow up?

Oregon. I mostly grew up in The Dalles, which is on the Columbia River Gorge, and that was kind of a terrible time, but when we moved to Florida in my junior year, things really picked up. I basically got to leave behind the, “Oh, another Starr kid” feeling that kind of hovered over me, and I was able to sort of make my own my way, and I was able to make a lot of new friends, was in a lot of clubs, did drama, choir, I didn’t do tennis up there, but I did do band. I played clarinet and I was a soprano.

How does Tennessee compare to other places that you’ve lived?

It’s not the worst! Nature-wise, it’s actually semi similar to Oregon with shorter mountains. And then culture-wise, Knoxville is a little bit similar to Austin because of the college town vibe, and it’s more progressive than the surrounding areas, which was very much how Austin is. I’ve also lived in California and that was a world all its own, so no comparison there.

So the universe dropped that Hard Knox Roller Girls clip in your life and then brought you to fresh meat. What was your fresh meat experience like?

The fresh meat experience was pretty good. Kilty was very uplifting and encouraging, and our whole group was just, you know, helping each other. I had actually, more or less, never roller skated in my life prior to August before fresh meat. So I’d only been skating for about three months when I joined. So the fact that I even barely passed safety skills is an absolute miracle, and I have Kilty to thank for that, because he tried real hard to get all of us to pass.

What are some of your favorite achievements in roller derby so far?

I would say that going from no skating to passing fresh meat in the course of four months is probably the most impressive thing that I’ve done so far. I did manage to start this season a lot more stable than I was last year. I very much struggled with stability and being upright and just not very strong on my skates. When we started practice for this year, I felt better, but then I had people telling me left and right, “You have gotten so much better,” “You have gotten so much more stable,” “Wow! You really stood up to that hit!” And it made me happy because it did feel like progress. So not so much achievements as just continuing to progress and get better. I’m happy about that, I’m proud of that.

And I’m hearing you agree with the validation that outsiders are giving you, because it can be hard to see it inside yourself.

Sometimes I don’t, but that was one that I actually felt. I felt like, “You’re right, because I feel like you’re right, and I see what you’ve seen.” It’s always hard to see what other people see in you, but I just had that feeling, and part of it was coming back and saying, “This is my year!” and then it’s not. But that’s okay.

The universe helps and then the universe has other plans sometimes.

It giveth and it taketh.

It sure does! Well as far as roller derby is concerned, what is your favorite position to play as far as if we’re doing a drill or anything like that?

I’m gonna say I don’t have one because I’ve—the way the universe has giveth and taketh—I’ve been pigeonholed into a blocker position, which is not terrible, you know. Blockers are the meat of the derby, but I came in knowing I wanna be a jammer, and I still want to be a jammer, but my speed and endurance are terrible, so I have to work on those, and that’s just gonna take time.

So I’m gonna say I don’t have a favorite position as of right now. Plus I’ve only played half a season, so I feel like it’s too early for me to make a decision. Maybe I will eventually like blocker, maybe I’ll decide pivot’s the way to go. Don’t know yet! But I have a dream that I’m still following.

And what is it about jamming that speaks to you?

I like the idea of being sneaky. I’m not very sneaky, but I like the idea of it. The jukey jammers are my jam (literal and figurative, that was completely by accident!). Because I am so impressed by their twinkle toes and their moves and their speed, and I wanna be that, you know? I wanna be a twinkle toes because I feel like it fits me. I don’t feel like a big bruiser, get-in-your-way-and-stop-you kind of person. I feel like a catch-me-if-you-can kind of person, even though I’m slow.

But it’s a thing to build up to.

It’s the thing to build up to, exactly.

As a blocker, it is so much more demoralizing to have a jammer just skate on by you without you realizing they’re there.

And that happens to me a lot!

Because it’s like, if they hit you, it’s like, okay, I know they’re going to hit me, I know it’s going to be a big hit, but when they sneak on by you…

Oh my god, I just thought of an achievement that I really liked! I don’t remember, it was either my first or second home bout that I got to play in. We were in a pack, the jammer was really squeezing their way through, somehow we all got separated, and I somehow managed to get in front of the jammer and chest block them—twice in a row! On the same jam! I remember thinking, “Gotta block them,” and I just turned around even though we’re told never give them your front, and I caught her and I blocked her for a few seconds. I think she stumbled or somebody else had gotten up and pushed her. I rolled backwards, she got up, and I caught her one more time. And she still got around me, but it felt so good to actually do the thing that I was taught to do: chest block, delay the jammer. I was impressed with myself for that one jam.

Because it was in you to do that: you weren’t thinking about it, you just did it.

I just did it, I was like, “Oh, jammer! Get in the way!”

Do you have any derby heroes or people that you look up to in roller derby?

Yes! Boogie. I remember the first time I saw Boogie, she was still doing rec league, and she came in and she was just casually rolling around to warm up because she was a little bit late. And then she got in, and she just started being amazing, just being herself, and her skating is so smooth and it looks so second nature, natural. She’s strong, she’s fast, she’s jukey, she’s everything I wanna be as a skater. Someone asked me if she was my derby crush and I would have to say yes!

A crush and a hero! So you’ve been helping out the team with reffing at practice. What has that experience been like for you?

Chaos! I’m a details person; even when it’s more important to look at the bigger picture, I can’t help but focus on some details. So reffing has been a really good opportunity to see something happen, not quite understand why a call was made or wasn’t made, and have the time and opportunity to ask the head ref, “What? What just happened?” And actually get the explanation on why it happened the way it did, why that call was made. It gives me a lot more of an understanding on—things are way more technical than we know as skaters. Like as skaters, of course we know there’s rules we have to follow, things get technical, things get confusing and complicated, but when you see the other side of it, you really gain a huge respect for the refs, you know, even if you do want to boo them sometimes.

Is there a certain position in reffing that you’ve enjoyed more than others?

I don’t mind any of them. I think jam reffing is more interesting because you’re moving more, so it just feels more like you’re part of the action, but it also makes it more difficult to try and watch for penalties because you’re trying to pay attention to points, whether the scorekeeper got the points, trying to remember if your arm should be pointing or not: all the little technical things that say you’re the jam ref and this is what you do. Whereas if you’re inside pack ref or outside pack ref, you can really focus on the pack where most things are happening, but then again, I have a hard time seeing penalties even in that space, so jam reffing is “easier” also because I can kind of say, “Oh, I’m just counting points so I can’t call a penalty!” I am not going to see them!

The times that I have jam reffed at practice, I have straight up said, “I am looking for points and that is all I can do.” Because good Lord, it’s enough to remember like, they’ve passed this hip and now they’ve gotten hit out, so they still have that point. And then penalties on top of it: the ones that they commit and the ones committed against them!

It’s too much! I can see cut tracks, that’s about the only penalty I can really call a jammer on when I’m jam reffing, is a cut track. Or anyone really, but mostly the jammers.

What is the story behind your skater name and number?

Well, my last name is Starr, and Star Wars was always kind of a big thing in my family, we just always loved the Star Wars movies, so it kind of was just, that’s what it was. And I remember telling an old supervisor that, “Oh, you know, if I ever joined a roller derby team, I would want to be Death Starr,” and they flipped their lid over it and started imagining all kinds of fantastic stickers and sequined shorts with a Death Star on them, and just weird stuff. But they thought it was absolutely fantastic, and I was like, well, I guess that is going to be my name. 501 is the legion for Order 66.

If I were to give you a minute of an open mic, nerd out on anything Star Wars that you want, what would you say?

That the fight between the light side and the dark side is absolutely ridiculous, because you know you can’t have light without dark, or dark without light, and that the gray Jedis don’t get enough credit. They’re the ones that have the true balance of the Force because they can pull from both sides, and also they’re normal people as far as the whole “Jedi shouldn’t have attachments” thing. That’s why Darth Vader happened in the first place! He would have been fine if you just let him get married! He would’ve still been a Jedi if you had just not been jerks to him.

He’s out saving everybody, and yet he’s still not made a master, like what’s going on with that?

I know! I mean, he was a ridiculous person, and his sand thing was just [laughs], but yeah, he got a bad hand dealt to him, poor kid.

What have been some of your favorite derby moments in general?

Well, the aforementioned chest block of the jammer. I really enjoy the home team recruiting parties. Those are always fun to see who gets chosen where and watch them get excited about which team that they’re on, which home team. 

That goes with another question: we’re both Lolitas, so what are some of your favorite things about being a Lolita, or what’s your most Lolita trait?

I think my most Lolita trait is that I’m weird! When I first joined the league and we were doing the home team secret recruiting and everybody was asking questions, I wasn’t aware of who was on which home team because we hadn’t really worn the colors and I didn’t know people very well. I just had no real concept of what the home teams were like. Now a year later, it’s very clear what each home team is like and the personalities that they recruit, and it makes total sense. I absolutely being on the Lolitas because we have the wackiest, funnest group in my opinion, with the weirdest ideas and we’re not afraid to just let loose and sing Reading Rainbow anywhere we go. It makes me feel less like, not less weird, but weird in the right way.

You’ve been helping us out with our livestreams, both at the home bouts and with different events like our skate-a-thon. Is that something that comes from your work, or is that a hobby thing? How did you gain this knowledge that’s been very helpful to us?

It’s a hobby thing. Previous to this, I was a Twitch streamer and I just streamed video games (mostly Phasmophobia and Minecraft) so I just learned a lot about livestreaming through that because I have to make things as good as I can. I don’t like to settle for good enough if I don’t have to. Prior to joining the league, when I was helping with one of the home bouts as a volunteer, I saw that we were streaming on Facebook Live with an ipad; nothing wrong with that by any means! But my mind immediately went to, “We could do more than that.” Especially because we, as a league, try to put on such an entire show, sort of like the Austin team. Once upon a time, roller derby was entertainment as much as sport, and when you look around, it’s way more sport now, but we try to provide that extra bit. So why not try to provide that extra clear, extra crisp footage for our families and friends that are out of state, or even people that just are scrolling Twitch and saying, “What’s that?” And then suddenly we have a roller derby fan that we didn’t have before.

Do you have any goals for the livestream, like any improvements you want to make, any new things you want to do with it?

So this year, we started a two camera setup, where we can switch between slightly closer views. On our next bout, our second home bout, I’m actually going to up it to three cameras. I found myself getting a little bit tired on the second game, and I was forgetting to switch cameras, so I want to sort of fool-proof it a little bit, and get a single, full-track wide view, so that if I feel like I’m tired or if my Twitch jockey junior decides that they need to step away (once I get back on the track) you can just put up the whole track so we don’t miss any of the action, it just might not be up close. So crossing our fingers, I think I can do it though.

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Panic Attack. How many more years of derby do you think you have in you?

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Thanks for a fun conversation Death Starr! Readers, your next chance to see her and the rest of the Hard Knox crew is July 26, so don’t miss it! Until next time, be like Death Starr and just roll with the plans the universe gives you.

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May Featured Skater: The Count

Name: The Count

Number: 1071

Travel Team: Chaos

Home Team: Bettys

Years skating: 10

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If you’ve been around HKRD for a while, then you already know and love May’s Skater of the Month! If you’re new, then enjoy meeting The Count!

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You were nominated by November Pain, who wants to know: what is your favorite part of what we do? We’ve got practice, bouts, fundraisers; what’s your favorite thing with the derby team?

I’d have to say the camaraderie, just around a group of people with common interests, common goals, the smiles, the vibes, like even when you hit somebody, it’s all good.

How did you discover roller derby?

Oh gosh, I was watching an episode of Bones, probably ten-ish years ago. There was an episode where a derby player was killed, and so they were kind of investigating the girl and everything. They see the bruises, they think spousal abuse. Come to find out she plays roller derby. And then they kind of get into that little world. I’m watching it and I’m like, “That’s a thing? Like that sport exists?” Of course my husband was like, “Yeah, you never heard of roller derby?” Like no, of course not!

So of course I started looking into it, and then I found out Hard Knox had a league and started going on their website and all of that, and I decided that I want to try this. I reached out to info@hardknox, and I believe it was Cut N Dye who was managing that email account at the time. We emailed back and forth a bunch, and slowly started buying all the equipment, the gear, still hadn’t committed. Went to about two bouts and then I finally just said I’m gonna do this. She reached out and said, “Hey, we’re gonna have an open house, why don’t you come on over.” This was back when we on Raccoon Valley, the Raccoon Valley Warehouse.

So The School?

Yeah, The School. So yeah, I showed up, and everyone was just so nice. Another girl showed up at the same time, and come to find out she lives on the next street as me, Tara. We showed up on the same [night], and it was nice, it was just great. I showed up for rec league practice and I was hooked!

Wow! I have heard so many different “this media got me into it.” I have never heard Bones! Like I didn’t realize they did an episode on that, that is so cool.

It is, yeah.

Well, what was your pre-derby background? Had you done sports before? Had you roller skated a lot as a kid? 

I did inline skates in my youth, just kind of run the street and everything. Never really did quads, so that was different. I’d been off skates for years, so that was very scary. It was like learning to ride a bike all over again. I played soccer one year when I was a freshman in high school. Didn’t go well. Wanted to do track, but I lived in Florida, and the heat and everything. My parents wouldn’t let me; they were just so scared I’d get heat exhaustion or something. So yeah, not really sporty at all.

What brought you to Knoxville then, from Florida?

I spent a huge part of my childhood in Florida, central Florida, moving around a lot. My parents divorced, my mom moved up here because she would vacation in Gatlinburg (you know, a lot of people vacation in Gatlinburg and relocate here). So my mom was one of those. Just years with my stepmom, just falling out and it was time for a change. I moved up here to be with her and kind of just stayed. Had a family, now I’m stuck here.

Well we’re glad you’re stuck here! So you’ve literally been around since The School: for people who don’t know, that is a long time. That is Hard Knox lore to be a part of The School (I am not). So you’ve gone through fresh meat several times. Just what have been some of your experiences? What’s it been like going through fresh meat, continuing to come back from different adversities that you’ve gone through with it?

Well, I did rec league for awhile, and through that process, we didn’t have any boot camps or fresh meats or anything. It was just strictly rec league to kind of train you. And there really wasn’t a lot of involvement with the rec league. It was a completely separate practice. We had Cut and Chris who kind of managed it a little bit, and they kind of worked on some fundamentals, but nothing really intense or—they didn’t really push you. It was very casual. Some practices it felt like we were literally just skating around in circles. Lyda Kain and Kilty, they showed up to a lot of it, those were some good practices too.

It was probably, I would say maybe a year (I mean, Killer Queen and Kitty Twister, they started and they didn’t even go through a fresh meat, they were able to progress so rapidly that they were able to get into the league quick before we even had a boot camp). And then we finally had a boot camp, and on testing it was a tax deadline (I worked at a CPA firm at the time), so I couldn’t do it. Then it was probably another year before another boot camp, and something happened with that one, I can’t quite remember. I know we eventually had to relocate to Oliver Springs. We had a boot camp, and I think that’s when I found out I was pregnant with my youngest. I was gonna try to stick with it, and then the hormones kicked in and just couldn’t do it. After she was born, just a lot of postpartum depression. Couldn’t come back—I would even drive as far as into the parking lot, and sit there, and then turn around and go home. I would drive halfway there, and turn around and go home. I tried so much to come back, and it was just really hard for me. So yeah. And then years passed, finally I just decided: I gotta do this. I gotta do this. And here I am!

And here you are!

I think I might have done a boot camp with you.

We did, yeah! I was in 2018. We were together. I mean it was, I didn’t even realize how much it was going to be when I was going through it. But it was a good one.

It was—it was very intense. I would say, I feel like each boot camp that I’ve been to, they’re getting better and better. A lot more core fundamentals, but very intense. Really drill it down into you.

You’re reading my mind right now because I was going to ask what changes you’ve seen from the league. So is there anything else that you’ve seen, like the ways that the league has grown, or are there core things that you see like, no matter what, this is what Hard Knox always does? Just sort of a stepping back approach, what do you see from the league?

Well when I was rec league, it was really different because rec league was kept completely separate from the league. We were not involved with almost anything, hardly anything, but we were kind of expected to help with the fundraising. Any of that stuff we didn’t get MCH (Member Contribution Hours) credit for it, but we were still expected to participate in it. But when it came to any type of Hard Knox events (they had an anniversary one) we were expected to help with getting money together and supplies for it, but we weren’t allowed to attend it. We weren’t allowed to go to the end of the year party. We were expected to help with all the things, but we weren’t part of it.

But it’s completely different now. Where the rec league participates along with the league during practices, we’re all involved. If they want to help they can, there’s no pressure if they don’t, and they still get to be part of Hard Knox at the end of the year party and the after-parties and all of that stuff. I feel like it’s a lot more unified.

Yeah, and I think very intentionally making the culture a place where, no matter where you are, you can have a place here.

Yes, a lot more welcoming.

So when you’re out on the track, what is your favorite position to play?

Blocking!!

What do you like about blocking (she says with a very bold tone!)?

I feel like the times that (when we’re doing different practices where you have to play the jammer role) just trying to break through the pack, and I just don’t have the endurance for that. To have to skate around the track as fast as you can and then try to work through the pack again, I don’t think I have the endurance for that. And I think I would be a very strong blocker once I can figure out how to hold myself.

What’s an area that you can tell that you’ve grown in as a skater?

It’s really hard to say because I feel like in the past, I’ve done a lot of things, I’ve felt like I was a lot better at it, and then I’ve lost it, lost the skills from being off skates for so long and having to build everything back up and figure out what works, what doesn’t, especially with my body being older. It’s a lot harder. Having to relearn everything, it’s really hard to say. I will say, I’m a lot farther than I was last year. Just learning how to do all the things.

What have been some of your favorite derby moments, either on or off the track?

I think off the track is: the friends that I’ve made. I think I’ve made some really good friends, people that I know I can count on. 

You are part of the Bettys. What would you say is either your most Betty trait, or what’s your favorite part of the Bettys?

Well I do love the color red! So I have to confess: I did want to be a (formerly) Machine Gun Kelly because it goes with the whole mob thing, but Kitty Twister always told me, years ago, that I’m a Betty. She would tell me all the time, “You’re a Betty!” And so I did have my heart set on being a Moonshine Moxie, because formerly Machine Gun Kellys, but I was actually very relieved and thrilled to be a Betty. I feel that is my family.

I agree with Kitty’s assessment!

Yeah, it suits me.

It really does! And y’all’s vibe is just really fun, like the little button ups that y’all are have, those are so cool!

They are absolutely adorable! Just the whole outfit in general.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

The Count is short for The Accountant from the Ben Affleck movie The Accountant. Just a complete badass of an accountant; I mean, he’s a CPA and he uncooks the books for the mob, just very impressive, what he does and who he is and everything and what all he has overcome and just, it stuck with me: The Accountant. I’m The Accountant. So The Count for short, and I just love that.

And it’s a good—we can just say, “Count!” out there on the track. A one syllable word is really good.

Yes, that helps a lot! The number, 1071: so I couldn’t come up with a number for the longest time. I did some Googling, and it’s unconfirmed, but I did find some amateur radio websites where they said 1071 is the code for fraud and I think counterfeit, I think it’s fraud and counterfeit, the police code for that for Knox County. Unconfirmed though! I need to find a police officer to confirm it.

It was so specific, I was like, it’s gotta be something related with money or accounting in some way! And I just loved your photo that you did this year with all the fake money you had, that was so much fun!

Yes, I think that was Death Starr’s suggestion. I think she suggested that, so it just worked out perfect.

What is something that you’ve gained from roller derby that maybe you didn’t expect?

Well I did a lot of research before starting, so a lot of the stuff that was said did happen: the physical fitness and the camaraderie, the bonds and everything. I think just some of the friendships I’ve gotten. Wasn’t expecting it to be as good as it is. It’s nice that there’s people I can talk to for various different things. And long lasting friendships, like Kitty Twister, we’ve kept in contact, even every time I’ve disappeared. She’s always been there.

You just recently did the Chalk Walk with your daughter. Have you always been artistic like that?

Yes, natural born artist. I don’t really push myself or apply myself like I used to. It was always drilled into me that you’re only famous when you die, so I never pursued a career in it. Which I’m kind of glad because I love my career. But it’s really nice because my oldest loves art, she’s actually going for an art major (animation). And so I try to support her as much as I can with that. We did it two years ago, had a blast, and did it again this year, and we’re going to continue doing it. Just very fun!

So did she design the piece that y’all did?

She did. So half of it was a monarch, because it’s my favorite butterfly, and the other half—I can’t remember the name of it, but it’s a blue butterfly, it’s her favorite butterfly, I’m a horrible mom for not being able to remember what it’s called! But yeah, she did the design and I let her kind of draw it out. I did my side, she did her side, we colored the green.

That is so cool! I didn’t realize that that’s how it went together, that y’all each had half of it. That is really well done.

She did an absolutely amazing job with that.

She did, yes! The design was really intricate. Well, what does your family think of roller derby?

They’re supportive of it. My littlest wants to do it. She’s totally into roller skating. I feel bad because I can’t take her to the skating rink as much as I’d love to. So, she watches the games on the big tv, and she’ll get her skates out and roller skate in the living room, and then she asks me, “When are we going skating?” I can’t wait until she’s old enough and we get the Hooligans [junior derby] up and running. That would be really good for her.

If you were to sum up your roller derby experience in three to five words, what would you say?

That’s a hard one! Persistence. I’ll just go with one word: persistence.

Who do you want to nominate next month, and what do you want to ask them?

Death Starr. What got you started in roller derby? What made you show up?

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Thank you for a great conversation, Count! Readers, it’s the month you’ve been waiting for: OUR FIRST HOME BOUT! Catch the All Stars and Brawlers on May 24 in downtown Knoxville, and cheer on all your favorite skaters. Until next time, be like The Count, and just be persistent.

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April Featured Skater: November Pain

Name: November Pain

Number: 10

Travel Team: Brawlers

Home Team: Moonshine Moxies

Years skating: 2

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She always has a smile on her face, and her fierce playing brought the pain to all of her opponents! Get to know April’s Skater of the Month: November Pain!

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You were nominated by Wheels of Justice, who wants to know: What is the thing that has most surprised you about being involved in roller derby?

The thing that surprised me the most about roller derby is how friendly and supporting every single person on the team is—everyone! I’m really surprised at that. A group of people like that (especially mostly girls) you would think there would be little cat fights and other things, but for me, maybe I’m just oblivious, but I truly love every single one on the team, and I feel like they love me too!

We do! Well, what brought you to roller derby in the first place?

I was on Facebook, and I think an ad popped up or something, because I didn’t know we had a team. I hadn’t skated in like thirty years, so I told my husband then because I was like, “I’m going to do this,” and he was like, “Uh, you’re crazy, you’re gonna die, you’re gonna break something,” and I was like, “I’m gonna do it!” So I did!

So you skated as a kid. Did you do any sort of sports as well, or what was your sort of pre-sport background like?

I did track, I ran track in high school, and I played softball growing up, but that was just rec league. But as far as high school, I did track. I never skated professionally or anything. I just skated in church. My church had a skating rink, like a gym where you could skate, and I was there every day. I grew up in that church, every day I was there. That’s where I skated.

Where was home for you? Are you local to Knoxville?

Lenoir City, TN.

So you just kind of jumped into your skating experience then with us. How would you describe your first year?

My first year was more than I ever even imagined! I truly didn’t expect to get on the team my first year, much less play in real bouts. I just literally had never even been to a bout until I played in my first one in Charleston. That was the first live bout I had ever seen, so that was really fun.

How did you decide on your skater name and number?

Well, Shreddy’s husband actually helped me because we were talking and I’m really into music, I love music. I asked Shreddy what my name should be, and she said try to pick something that is about you, something you like, your hobby. So I thought: really the only thing I like is music, and so he had a couple of suggestions, and I was gonna go with Motley Cruel because I’m a big 80s fan, and so I thought that’s cool, so I was gonna do Motley Cruel. But then I was in the shower and listening to my music while I took my shower, and “November Rain” came on, which is my favorite song, and then it just hit me. I was like, “Oh, November Pain, that’s what I’m gonna be.” That’s my favorite song. And my birthday’s in November, so I was like okay, that works.

My son actually came up with my number because of a pain level of ten (one to ten): I’m a pain level of ten. He came up with that, and I was like, okay! That’ll work!

Has he or any other family members come to the bouts?

Yes, my husband and son have come to probably all of them, my mother, my step-dad, my brother, my sister, a cousin’s come.

What do they think about it?

They love it. My mother’s probably my biggest fan, my biggest supporter, you’ve probably seen her post things on Facebook. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about, but she loves it. She’s a good big supporter.

We appreciate the enthusiasm! How would you describe your derby playing style?

Hmm, derby playing style…right now, it’s just kind of not as hard as I want it to be [laughs]. I think my style, honestly I don’t even know, I don’t know how to answer that one to be honest. I feel like I can hit harder, but I feel like I’m working up to that, hitting harder. I feel like I’m hitting harder much more this season than last season. Last season I was really just working on skating and not falling.

It sounds like that might be one of your goals for this season then; do you have any other goals for this season?

Yes, definitely. Hit harder, hit out, I want to get the jammer out (the jammer and the blockers of course), to not break any bones obviously [laughs], to be a team player, and help the team and not harm the team in the jam. Last year I felt like, and I’m obviously on the B team, so we’re all pretty new, or mostly new to me anyway, I felt like I was hurting the team sometimes out there, you know? This year I want to be helping the team.

Well I mean, like you said, it’s part of being on the B team: we’re learning how to do things. And you definitely have helped the team! What are some of your favorite achievements that you have had on the track?

On the track…I know I’ve got one person, have hit one person out (don’t remember where or when) but I do remember doing that one time, and that was really cool, I felt really good about that. I just can’t think, it all goes by so fast! I don’t even remember what I did or didn’t do!

Do you prefer home bouts or traveling for away bouts?

Well I prefer the home ones because that way my family can come. I like traveling, but I prefer the home bouts because there’s more people, I feel like, and you know, there’s no place like home!

Do you have any pre-game rituals that help get you in the right mindset for a bout?

The only thing that I do pre-game every game and in fact every practice is take two ibuprofen [laughs]. That and I’ll drink, especially before a bout, I’ll drink an electrolyte drink. But nothing really pre-game rituals, no, I’m not too much into that. Just the day before, drinking lots of water.

How do you find a balance between roller derby and real life?

That’s hard! That’s really hard because roller derby is a lot. I’m thankful and grateful that I actually started at my age, older, when my son is in his twenties, because now I don’t have to take care of him. So now all I pretty much have to do is work, and you know, I have my house, my family to take care of, but I don’t have a little child I have to follow around and chase to games and stuff like that. So it’s easy. I’m busy, I’m busy every day all day pretty much, but I love it. I’d rather stay busy. Because before I started derby, I’d gotten in a rut, I would just be at home. Derby has really helped me a lot as far as my mental health. Helps a lot.

How do people in everyday life react when they find out that you play roller derby?

Most people are pretty shocked. Yeah, most people are like, “What, are you crazy?” They always ask me if I hit people, if I get hurt. But for the most part, people love it. Most people are like, “Wow, that’s so cool, I didn’t even know Knoxville had a team!”

What would you say to people who might be thinking they want to play roller derby, but aren’t sure if they could do it? What advice would you give to them?

I would say if you can skate, then come watch us practice, let us know, we’ll let you watch us, let you come see if you like it. Try it! Give it a try. What do you have to lose, you know? If you don’t like playing on the team, I always tell people, you know, if you don’t like to skate and if you don’t want to play, you’re afraid of getting hurt, you can always ref. You know, we always need refs. I always tell them that.

What is your favorite question that people tend to ask you about roller derby?

I guess if I hit people! [laughs] A lot of people will say, “How did you get into it?” or “How’d you know about that?” So I’ll tell them my story, but yeah, I don’t really get a whole lot of questions. Pretty much, it’s always, “Do you hit people?”

If you could describe your derby experience in three to five words, or maybe a short sentence, what would you say?

Fun, family. I feel like that’s the derby experience: it’s fun, and they’re family. I guess that’s my experience.

Who would you like to nominate for next month, and what do you want to ask them?

The Count. What’s her favorite part of what we do? I mean, we have practice, we have bouts, we have fundraisers. What is her favorite thing she does with the derby team?

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Thanks for a great conversation Pain! Readers, your Hard Knox Brawlers are on the road this month for their first bout against Little City! Be sure to follow Hard Knox on all the social media to keep up with that bout and many more this season. Until next time, be like November Pain, and just give something new a try.

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